The Perks of Being A Head Girl
by revynclaw
Summary: Hermione was happy. No, ecstatic, when she found out she was going to be Head Girl. But when she found out who the Head Boy was, oh boy. She was not happy. Sort of AU


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. Seriously. If I was J.K. Rowling, I'd be off spending my money traveling or buying all of the world's supply of chocolate instead of writing fanfiction.

**Author's Note: **Please _do_ excuse my English, since it's not my native language. So if you find any mistakes, please don't hesitate to message me. :)

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September first! I arrived at King's Cross with my parents! I saw platforms nine and ten! I pushed my trolley through the barrier! I saw Platform 9 and ¾! I saw the Hogwarts Express! As you may have noticed, I wrote the last few sentences with an exclamation point at the end of each one. Pardon me, I'm just happy. No, ecstatic. You see, I'm Head Girl.

Yes, I, Hermione Jean Granger, bookworm extraordinaire, insufferable know-it-all, _the_ prude of prudes, had just been appointed Head Girl by our lovely, gracious, kind, and wonderful Headmaster Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (insert smug expression here).

My parents gave me a hug and kiss goodbye and whispered some last-minute reminders before I walked confidently—no, swaggered—towards the train, my Head Girl badge pinned conspicuously on my red shirt (which is new, by the way). As expected, the other students gave me a quick "Congratulations," or "Oh my goodness, you're Head Girl!" Thank you. Yes, I am Head Girl. Yes, I am now officially awesome. Yes, I am hereby awesomer than you are. Yes, I will have the authority to have you executed once I catch you snogging in the corridors or shagging in a broom closet late at night. Yes, I am your worst nightmare. Yes, I—No, I do not know who the Head Boy is.

Now I feel a bit odd. I didn't really pay much notice on who I will be working side by side with this term, since I was too busy admiring and polishing my Head Girl badge (What? It gets smudged easily!) I just shrugged—smiling, of course. I was _Head Girl.—_and went looking for Harry and Ron, which proved quite difficult, since the wizarding community had spawned quite a lot of offspring this year. _Where the heck are those two?_

"Hermione!" I heard a voice call behind me. I turned around and saw Ginny Weasley walking toward me, her red hair bouncing behind her.

"Oh, Ginny, hi!" I waved and smiled at her. "Have you seen Harry and Ron?"

"Come on, they're over here," she said, moving to hold my arm when she saw my Head Girl badge pinned (very conspicuously) on my shirt. She started squealing and jumping up and down quite violently, pulling my arm along in the process. "Oh my gosh, Hermione! Congratulations!"

"Thanks," I told her, smiling widely. This is definitely boosting my ego. "So, Harry and Ron?"

"Oh yeah, over here. Luna and Neville are there as well," she said and started walking with me. "Have you told them yet?"

"Oh no, not yet," I told her honestly. "Say, is Harry the new Head Boy?"

"No, he's not," she said. "I thought you knew who it was."

"Oh." For the past few minutes, I had actually been wondering who the new Head Boy might be. Harry had been my top bet, being The Boy Who Lived and all, but since he's not, on to the next candidate. Justin Finch Fletchley? Hm. Could be. Dean Thomas? Nah, seems pretty unlikely. Draco Mal—NO, no, no no no. Anyone but Draco Malfoy. Justin Finch-Fletchley it is!

"Here we are, Hermione," Ginny slid the compartment door open and I sat down beside Ron and Harry. We were starting to talk when the compartment door slid open and in stepped Lavender Brown. That bitch.

"Won-won!" she squealed and pulled Ron into a wet kiss. Um, hello, we're sitting right here, Lavender. Please show some consideration, would you? Then she started making an unintelligible noise that at that time sounded suspiciously like an orgasming pig. Don't ask me how a pig's orgasm sounds like, I don't know.

Without warning, she dragged Ron out of the compartment, without even a single acknowledgement of our presence in said compartment. She could have said "Excuse me, but I must brutally drag your friend out of this compartment for we will have an incredibly shameless, disgusting, and should-be illegal snogging session in an empty compartment for the rest of this trip. Good day," and we wouldn't have minded, but she didn't. Instead, she just dragged him out, saying "Won-won" in a terribly annoying sing-song voice. She can't even sing.

That bitch.

Apparently, Ron and Lavender, or should I say "Won-won and Lav-lav" have "rekindled their romance" last summer, or so Ginny said. "Won-won" seemed to be terribly sorry for how he acted towards her last year, but I'm pretty sure he was only up for a good snogging session every now and then, and "Lav-lav" was the only one disgusting enough to be willing to do it shamelessly. You know, _without shame_, which is what she is. It kind of hurts, though, since I pretty much like Ron, despite his immense stupidity sometimes. And his very small emotional range. I just hate Lavender Brown.

That bitch.

That sly, conniving bitch.

"Um, Hermione?" said Harry, looking at me uncertainly. "You okay? You've been glaring at the door for the past five minutes."

"Oh, was I?" I looked back at him, giving him a sickeningly sweet smile. Then I looked at Ginny, Luna, and Neville, and gave them the same wide smile. Now Harry's looking at me weird. So were Ginny and Neville. Luna was just staring into space, but that's normal. I must have looked like an idiot. Yep. Idiot Hermione. Or maybe Crazy Hermione. One moment, glaring at a _very_ innocent door like it was a mass murderer, then the next moment smiling like a beauty contestant. I'm a total idiot. But I'm Head Girl, in case you forgot, Hermione! Yes, but you're still an idiot. Now I'm talking to myself. I gotta stop this madness.

"Harry, Hermione's Head Girl!" Ginny sputtered out, desperate for a change in subject. Harry took the bait graciously, not wanting to press my idiocy any further, which I'm very grateful for.

"Hermione, that's amazing!" he said as he hugged me. "Congratulations, we're so happy for you!"

"Well done, Mione!" Neville said, beaming at me. "You'll be a great Head Girl."

"Congratulations, Hermione," said Luna, dropping what looked like a shriveled up, oversized peanut. "That's a Protectis root. It drives demons away and keeps you from harm," she added in a whisper, nodding.

"Er, thank you, Luna," I smiled at her, putting the wrinkly peanut thing in my pocket. What? I was being nice. That's what awesome Head Girls do. Awesome Head Girls like me. We're nice.

I started telling them the glorious story on how I got my letter telling me that I was Head Girl when the compartment door slammed open once again, and it wasn't Lavender Brown. It also wasn't Justin Finch-Fletchley. It wasn't even the lady with the food trolley. It was Draco Malfoy.

And _he_ was wearing a Head Boy badge.

Oh no.

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**A/N: Sooo. I have a new story now. I'm not really sure with Castaways, though. Hopefully, I'd be able to finish this. Reviews, please? :)**


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